4 Signs of a Narcissistic Personality

It is only natural that people have some degree of liking for themselves, and this liking is an essential component of having self-respect. However, when it is taken to an extreme, selfishness transforms into narcissism, which may not only be a characteristic of a person's character but also present the narcissistic personality disorder as a whole.

Sigmund Freund was the first to introduce the term "narcissism." It is based on a myth that originated in Ancient Greece. Echo, a nymph, fell in love with a young man by the name of Narcissus, but she was unable to communicate with him at first. She spat obscene curses at him after he had rejected her. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, heard Echo's cries for help, and in response, she caused Narcissus to fall in love with himself. He was unable to pull himself away from the river stream and risk losing his reflection, thus he spent the rest of his life staring at himself in the water there. That was the manner in which he met his end, and in this spot a lovely flower with a drooping head began to grow.

Being around a narcissist is challenging because they always place themselves first, before you or anybody else. Here are five telltale symptoms that the person you are with has a narcissistic disposition.

1.Extremely high opinion of themselves

A narcissist is self-righteous. In their opinion, everything they do is fantastic everything they do is fantastic. It causes them to believe that they are always correct, whereas what others do is frequently incorrect. When two people's interests collide, the narcissistic person is convinced that it is him/her who is always correct. Such a person would not admit and apologize for their error. They secretly believe that everyone else is worse than them and may act arrogantly. They are always full of self-importance. As a result, they constantly anticipate special attention. Lacking patience, such a person demands (verbally or nonverbally) quick compliance with their requests. They are really proud of their accomplishments. Being the best at everything, or rather, feeling the best, be that intellectual superiority, physical attractiveness, or financial status, confirms their special place and status. This pride, however, does not last long. The sense of being grandiose requires frequent outside reinforcement and encouragement. The persistent sense of self-aggrandizement leads to a high level of competition. It is driven by a persistent urge to prove oneself. That is why, looking from the outside, people with narcissistic personalities frequently appear to be successful.

2. Hunger for praise and attention

People who are narcissistic seek attention and praise. They rely on it more than they'd like to acknowledge, and they either love it and bathe in it or are unwilling to confess this need altogether. Because such a person does not take criticism well, they surround themselves with individuals who lavish them with accolades. Of course, being surrounded by yes-men saps their potential to develop or change for the better. Seeking attention and never-ending praise and approval stem from a lack of self-confidence, which is compensated for with external affirmation. They are also irritated when someone else gets complimented in front of them. Envy makes them act in a strongly emotional way. If they believe they are losing, they may become enraged and become physically or emotionally violent or cruel. Their mood fluctuations are frequently linked to how they see themselves in social comparisons. They may be visibly sad if they believe they are inferior in some way, but delighted if they believe they are superior to others. Unfortunately, it does not last for long. The universal thing is that they attract attention to themselves, whether in a positive or negative way.

3. A lack of compassion and empathy

A narcissistic person may appear charming at first glance. Unfortunately, one quickly discovers that in a relationship, these people are cold and empty. They lack the basic feelings that make a relationship fulfilling, such as empathy and compassion. But not only that, a narcissist lacks true emotions in general. They seldom, if ever (depending on the degree of their condition), experience regret or guilt about their wrongdoings. Instead, they frivolously take advantage of others. They may demonstrate partiality for one person over another as they build a connection, but not because they actually care about that person; rather, it is so they need something from them and are using them. A narcissist is more preoccupied with power than with living fully and truly loving someone. They are drawn to members of the elite and those in positions of power and authority. They also work hard to gain the benefits of these ties.

4. Assertion of omnipotent capabilities

A narcissistic individual constantly extols their achievements and skills. They never cease believing they are superior to others and more capable than others around them. Being the best at everything, or rather, feeling the greatest, helps them feel capable of accomplishing anything. That is why they are so sensitive to criticism and respond so strongly to it: it undermines their self-perception that they can accomplish anything, at any moment. Their attitude toward failure, which all people face sometimes, is usually one of denial. As a result, these individuals have a tendency to blame others for their misfortunes. When you're around a narcissist, you might feel that you're never good enough, or at least not as good as them. The fixation with power contributes to the urge to feel extremely capable. The more power a narcissistic person possesses, the more capable and less vulnerable they feel.

To conclude, when one is in a relationship with a person who has a narcissistic personality, he/she will usually feel that they are losing themselves in this person. This relationship will lack real feelings. It might be based either on status or competition. It is generally agreed that the best way of dealing with a narcissistic person is not to develop too deep of a relationship, to not become a victim or their instrument for their reaching egocentric goals, and to keep strong personal boundaries, built upon self-respect and self-value..

Greetings! My name is Boris Herzberg and I am a psychoanalytic therapist, relationship consultant and ICF coach working online.
I help individuals and couples come to terms with their relationship to self and each other and explore ways to move towards a new way of living or being.

I work in a psychoanalytic paradigm but I would describe my therapy approach as adaptive, because I see each person as a unique being and thus work in a holistic way - with people, not with problems.

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